RSS

Category Archives: Essays on Life

Gollums In Disguise: Our Obsession With Possessions

DSC00360

Sitting at a wedding, waiting for my family to join me, with nothing better to do, I reached this weird philosophical place where things don’t necessarily make sense, ergo the momentary insanity (for which I apologize in advance). I just couldn’t stop thinking about our maid, whose house burned down in a fire recently. Their family is really poor, with barely enough to make ends meet. What meager possessions they had perished in the unforgiving inferno. This got me thinking… 

We live in a material world. We evaluate our successes and failures by what we do and don’t possess. We let our possessions define us. Everything, from our fancy cars to our high-tech phones, is a symbol of pride, a means of flaunting our superiority in front of those less fortunate (read ‘broke’). Everyone covets the finer things in life but when you really think this through, is this all what our life has been reduced to?

Intuitively, in this age of gadgets, my own life has been lost in pursuit of what I don’t possess. I would have wanted more in life, a meaning, a direction. (Un)knowingly, I will live and die for these perishable goods, these items that show promise of adding meaning to my life, yet the more I acquire, the emptier I feel. So are we making life simpler with the introduction of these ‘perceived’ necessities? Our never ending quest to be ahead of the rat race is getting us nowhere, forever running yet stuck in the same place.

If we look at our existence closely, we will notice that many of the evils surrounding us are because what we do or don’t have.

Greed: ”I want more.”
Jealously: ”I wish I had it instead of him; he doesn’t deserve it.”
Pride: ”I possess something and he doesn’t.”

In this day and age of obsessiveness, I find it hard to see someone who has less than I have and be thankful. Five minutes, ten if I’m in a funk, and I’m back to my usual obsessive/possessive self. Why can’t we be patient? Why aren’t we thankful of what we already have? Our peers aren’t helping us by flaunting the latest fashions in lawn (a type of clothing in Pakistan), the life-altering mind-bending smart phones, making us feel left out and insecure. The couture culture and this so-called ‘brand awareness’ is ruining us, turning us into zombies lurking for flesh.

My friends may think I’m a miser if I don’t but new things frequently but it is actually liberating. I know what wanting something badly feels like as I recently went through this phase when I bought my first Android tablet. What I got wasn’t enough and I just wanted better; there was really no end to this greed. What I’m about to say next may sound as cliche as a Kenny G. solo blaring from the nearby speaker at a wedding, but isn’t this what we all know deep inside? Isn’t this something we are afraid to admit in public for fear of being shunned by this so-called ‘civilized’ society?

What we should really focus on is to get our priorities straight and set goals that don’t necessarily revolve around getting something material at the end; we need to be deeper than that (not shallow). Find joy in helping someone out without first thinking how it would benefit you. It’s time we stopped looking at the world from someone else’s eyes and started thinking, really thinking, on our own. This is what life really is all about. Stop worrying about what you may or may not have tomorrow and focus on things that you usually take for granted.

Quit the rat race; it’ll help you sleep at night.

 
3 Comments

Posted by on May 9, 2013 in Essays on Life

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Cold Fusion: The Only Star

DSC_9494

Moments have the power to redefine you, make you complete, change you for good. My one defining moment was when I first laid eyes on this girl, who is now my wife; I instinctively knew I’d never be the same person I was before I met her. My world revolves around her; she’s my rock, my soul-mate, my friend, my enemy, my everything, and I cannot imagine a life without her.

We celebrate our anniversary in October each year and every year, I do something special for her. The last year, however, was a different story as we were mainly focused on our new born son’s recovery. Nevertheless, I had something special planned since then and I just finished the whole thing. It comprises of a poem framed for her and a hand-crafted 3D paper model that ties in with the main theme of the poem. It may not be the most expensive gift but it certainly is original and straight from the heart. I can’t wait to see her reaction when I show it to her in the evening. Here are a few photos for your viewing pleasure.

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Tweet ‘em Away

Twitter is one of those things that grows on you. I have always been a man of many words so the 140 word limit is a bit intimidating. Once you get the hang of it though, it helps compose your thoughts more efficiently.

Here are some of my old tweets for your reading pleasure.

  1. Love conquers it all, except a forgotten anniversary. It’s a battle you lose even before you begin fighting. :p
  2. I don’t like the way you #Tweet me. Everyone has the right to be #Tweeted equally. :p
  3. Only powerful people have opinions that are heard. What we commoners say doesn’t even matter. #SocialInjustice
  4. After having two kids of my own, I finally understand why parents are more tolerant than ‘regular’ people. Baby vomit on shirt? No biggie!
  5. We’re afraid to miss (or be late for) a doctor’s appointment but we blatantly disregard Allah’s appointments (namaaz) everyday.
  6. You simply cannot ‘Like’ a death-in-the-family status. #EpicFail #FaceBook
  7. I’m running an average of 80 kms daily at approx. 76.5 kms/hr but still not losing any weight. #TempleRun2 is no help whatsoever.
  8. Don’t get intimidated by the barbed wires life spins around you. Think how to break-free & shine like the light you were always meant to be.
  9. Watching your 6-month old son go to sleep in your arms is perhaps the best feeling in the world! #ThingsMoneyCantBuy
  10. Those in the lime light wish to run away from it all; the rest of us wish we were in their place. It’s a #MadMadWorld.
  11. Had an annoying are-we-there-yet moment with my two-year old daughter; I was #Shrek and she was #Donkey! ;)
  12. It would be really interesting to read what people ‘almost’ write as a status or a comment, then delete it just before posting! ;)
  13. Your five-month old rips a loud one in a room full of people and you know the it-was-him-not-me look isn’t working. #Awkward
  14. An issue you won’t find being discussed between Pakistani friends: “Are you and your parents close?” #LoveYourFolks
  15. It’s time to lose weight when the plastic armchair you’re sitting on gets stuck to you when you get up. #HarshRealities
  16. If only we’d stop fighting for our rights and start giving others theirs, this world would be a much better place. #LifeLessons
  17. Funny how things NEVER seem to turn out the way you want them to; life is still worth living! #DishingOutInspiration
  18. Politics has a way of sucking you in, whether you want to or not. #HatePolitics
  19. #MashaAllah. The feeling I get when my almost-four-month-old son bestows me with a smile cannot be put into words. #Priceless
  20. Burning a bridge is easier than building/repairing one. Make sure you think twice before breaking ties/hearts. #SpreadTheLove
  21. My #daughter comes up behind me, puts her arms around my neck, #kisses me thrice and asks, “Maza aaya?” (Did you enjoy it?). Masha Allah.
  22. It’s disrespect when your kids use your first name to talk to you, but not when it’s your 21-month old daughter. ‘Youtuf’ loves you sweetie.
  23. Sometimes, what we say is what we don’t mean; those are the times we break hearts. Don’t hesitate to #Apologize if you think it’s worth it.
  24. The written word has a longer lifespan than you and I, so why not leave a lasting imprint? #Twitter #WordPress
  25. The joy in your daughter’s voice as she screams ‘Papa’ the moment you ring the door-bell; #Priceless
  26. Seeing your 2-month old son look into your eyes and smile for the first time; #Priceless
  27. There are two things that should NEVER be delayed: (1) doing a good deed, and (2) apologizing to someone you truly love/respect
  28. Whenever there’s a strange smell in the room, why does everyone automatically assume it’s the #FatGuy?
  29. Stabbed in the heart while being robbed in my own home, trying to protect my wife. How very chivalrous of me?! #NightmaresAndDreamscapes
  30. Beauty Magazines: the more you read them, the more you realize how pathetic your un-photoshoped body/face is! :D
  31. The purest form of #love is what a parent has for his child; no conditions, no expectations, no strings attached!
  32. very #Pakistani is a Political Analyst with a potential for hosting a great #talkshow; if only profanity were allowed on Public Television!
  33. When a #TV character does something bad and tries covering it up, you know it’ll bite him/her in the butt within the next 5-7 episodes!
  34. There are some #questions in the world no one can answer; for everything else, there’s #Google!
  35. #Ramadan is not just about giving up food and drink for a prescribed amount of time; it’s about moderation, preservation and self-control.

Follow me on @YousufBawany for more insanity.

Cheers,
Yousuf

 
4 Comments

Posted by on March 30, 2013 in Essays on Life, Humor, Parenting

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

No Smoking: Poison Wears A Colorful Cape

Even though I hate smoking, I couldn’t resist photographing these vibrant cigarettes. Before I reveal the photos though, please beware that this is IN NO WAY an endorsement for the brand. Smoking is bad, no matter how attractive the cigarettes may be. Poison in a beautiful packaging is still poison; so quit smoking and stay alive!

DSC_7050

DSC_7045

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on January 15, 2013 in Essays on Life, Photo Adventures

 

Tags: , , , , ,

Quest For Creativity: Why Can’t We Be Children Again?

We’ve all encountered children with vivid imaginations. Some have imaginary friends while other see remarkable patterns in otherwise mundane things. Here’s a sample scenario:

You take your daughter to the park. She points to a big cloud in the sky and says, ‘Papa look. An elephant!’; all you can do is stare at the boring lifeless lump. You say, ‘Umhmm’, try shrugging it off as stupid, and your super-observant daughter instantly knows papa doesn’t get it. She then starts explaining how the thin wobbly line at the top of the cloud resembles a trunk, the blobs on either side look like ears, and the rest of the upside-down U shaped cloud, an elephant as seen from the back; the final touch being the little tail-like wisp inside the bend. ‘Aah! Now I see it.’

Can you spot a frog? [SPOILER on the right]

Can you spot a frog in the cloud? [spoiler alert!]

If we could quantify Creativity, we would find that, mathematically speaking, age is inversely proportional to creativity (in most cases). So the real question here is ‘what changes when we grow up’? Is there a switch that is suddenly turned off as soon as we reach adulthood? Are our minds so polluted with everyday problems that we stop observing, really observing, things? Is it maybe that our educational system is too linear, too one-dimensional? Is our thought process too subjective or biased? Or is the fear of being mocked by society for indulging in childish fantasies too gripping?

I love children and everyone who knows me knows as much. Children just connect with me and I to them, and it has been so for as long as I can remember. One of my younger cousins even used to call me his mama (i.e. mother), an honor I still unabashedly cherish to this day. What I lack in having a degree in Child Psychology, I make up for in experience. From what I have seen so far, children have some innate abilities, an eye for detail, and a thirst for knowledge most of us can only dream of having. Let us look at few of the qualities that make children more creative and even though some of these might be interrelated/over-lapping, they are nevertheless individual traits:

Forgiving / Forgetting

If you read anyone’s New Year’s resolutions, I’m sure you will have quite a few for mending broken relationships or rekindling ties with the estranged. A while back, I wrote an article on ‘Punishment for Breaking Ties in Islam’; statistics on this blog show it to be one of the most-read articles. Being an adult means making hard decisions and sometimes, these decisions cost us our loved ones. One simple argument can create huge rifts that put the Grand Canyons to shame. We focus so much of our energy nurturing this hate that at times, it becomes all-consuming, destroying everything in its path.

“It was his fault; he should apologize.”

“I am never talking to her again.”

“Over my dead body.”

Children have a totally different approach to this problem. I took my daughter to a pediatrician and she told me that children have a very short memory span. They fight with each other and two minutes later, all is forgotten and you’d find them playing together. This, I believe, is a key factor that develops the creative side in children. So as a lesson, let us set our egos aside, spend less time scheming and plotting our revenge, take things in stride, forgive and forget, and use our minds for something constructive; water under the bridge, people.

Fearless / Audacious

Adults are generally driven by consequences. Our entire day is based on what-if scenarios and we are generally driven towards choosing an easy way out for every problem. Life as an adult is all about boundaries, personal spaces and comfort zones. Then again, the definition of comfort varies from person to person; a person may be comfortable jumping to earth from space but might be scared of public speaking. Most of us never dare venture out of our comfort zones and even if we do, we chicken out the moment we encounter something remotely risky.

Let me give you a fearless example from my life. I personally don’t have any issues with cats but my wife is scared of them; my daughter, on the other hand, is obsessed with these furry creatures. My wife fears their sharp claws and the angry hissing noises they make; having never seen any of those things, my daughter passionately chases after one and at times, I have to hold her tight so as to prevent her from strangling the cat in question. She is not afraid and is willing to try new things, except for food, maybe; getting her to eat something is a feat in itself.

In short, children are not afraid of the consequences. We often scold them for breaking apart things, forgetting the key fact that even if it may look destructive, the exercise on the whole is actually contributing a lot to the child’s education. You simply cannot put up a price tag on the experience. Adults generally tend to associate a monetary value with everything. How many of us will willingly break apart our iPhones only to examine their internal contents, just out of curiosity?

Inquisitive / Curious

Ignorance is bliss but people belonging to the knowledge-is-power sect may beg to differ; would any of you ever willingly touch a snake? Obviously not! For children, everything counts as ‘an experience’. Whether it is taking the first steps or trying a particular fruit, each of these things gets a child into sensory overload; these feelings, or inputs, are then decoded into likes and dislikes, loves and hates. I have noticed that my 10-month old nephew is more eager to try new things as opposed to my 22-month old daughter. Taking things downwards on the age comparison, I find that my 4-month old son is more interested in the surroundings than either his sister or his cousin; he probably knows the intricacies of the ceiling fan better than anyone else in my house.

From all these observations, I have come to a simple conclusion; Children inherently have unbiased opinions. They are more subjective, open to new ideas, and ready to explore new avenues; adults, on the other hand, are generally inflexible. Children see the world in a different light; they analyze, think and evaluate ideas, no matter how absurd or preposterous the concepts may seem. We, on the other hand, say NO to anything that goes against our principles, our beliefs, and don’t skip a heartbeat in trashing it straight-away.

Free-thinkers / Broad-minded

If you’ve ever been to interviews, the phrase that truly sells you to a prospective employer is ‘Out-of-the-box thinker’. Ever wondered why it is so? Adults tend to be very linear, one-dimensional, in their approach. Most of us don’t see things from a different perspective, that’s why fancy concepts like out-of-the-box thinking are all the rage these days.

When it comes to children though, everything from a close inspection of car to the cereal they oh-so love is out-of-the-box (no pun intended). They just seem to see everything in a different light and a have a multidimensional perspective. They ask a lot of questions to understand concepts until all their curiosity is satiated. My daughter loves asking questions, so much so that at times, we just hold our hurting heads and beg her to stop the inquisition; fortunately, that doesn’t stop her from asking more.

We adults, however, feel ashamed to ask questions, fearing that asking too many questions might make us look dumb. There’s this one friend of mine who’s a genius (Masha Allah), literally (Ph.D. from MIT, working for Google, etc.), and he once told me something I haven’t let go of till this day:

One who asks a question is a fool for five minutes, but one who doesn’t, is a fool forever [Chinese Proverb]

The key point here is to see every issue, every problem, using a holistic approach, keeping your bias out of the equation and to freely ask questions. You may come across pros you might be against, cons you might actually support, but you need to be open-minded and listen to all sides of the story before drawing conclusions.

Visionaries with Wild Imaginations

Being adult means being extra-cautious before saying anything out of the ordinary, lest society labels you a weirdo.

“That’s preposterous. What would they think if I said this out loud?”

We also don’t hesitate to label someone as soon as something remotely fantastical comes out of their mouth.

“Are you five?”

The great thing about children is that they often mix fantasy with real life; that in itself is a big difference in how we adults perceive the world. We compartmentalize our thoughts, making judgments on what is acceptable and what is not, and have an innate need to ‘keep it real’. On the contrary, children have no mental boundaries; its all uncharted territory, a blank canvas waiting to be painted with the colors of creativity. Imaginary friends, bizarre drawings (that, if painted by adults, count as ‘abstract art’), and monsters in the closet are all part of this world they live in. Leading companies across the globe have realized the value of these ideas and have concluded that children have a lot more potential for creativity than adults. That is why, they run annual competitions where children are encouraged to envision a greener world or draw their fantasy cars.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

I just love observing my children. Call me neurotic (after all, what parent isn’t?) but I tend to capture even the least insignificant of my children’s accomplishments as a record of their history, their growth, and their victories. Whether it’s a photo of my son holding his milk bottle for the very first time or a video of my daughter naming all her favorite candies (Smarties=Mattish, M&Ms=M.M.M., Maltesers=Matishers), I have it all on camera, thanks to the digital revolution (man, we’re lucky!).

Children can be a constant source of inspiration and learning; all we need is to look at them in a different light, take a moment to understand their thought process and take them seriously. To truly unleash our creative potential, we need to start experiencing things like they do. They may be ignorant, but they are certainly not stupid. We as parents should nurture and encourage these behavioral traits from childhood so that our children can transgress with these into adulthood.

After all is said and done, I am painfully aware of the fact I am about to present to you:

When we are young, we can’t wait to grow up, be independent. It’s only after we get there do we realize how enslaved we are by our very minds and know the true value of freedom.

Love is in the air

Love is in the air

 
5 Comments

Posted by on January 7, 2013 in Essays on Life, Parenting

 

Tags: , , , , , , ,

 
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 688 other followers

%d bloggers like this: