Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Spotting a strand of white in a head full of black hair is fairly easy and insignificant, but if you are over thirty, it can be very traumatic. Combine this with the hair-fall situation and the ever-increasing “naked-eye” visibility of your scalp, and viola! Hello, Paranoia.

Depending on (a) how rich (or poor) you are, (b) how bad the present situation really is, or (c) your organic/herbal orientation (straight or otherwise), one of the following will be your next course of action:

1. Pretend everything is OK and do nothing; after all, you still have a lot more hair compared to cousin Salman (and I really mean A LOT).
2. Try black henna (kaali mehndi) to cover up those grays, or hair-dye; stay 21 for the rest of your life. Then again, some choose to go all out with the regular henna, turning their hair (and sometimes beard too) a weird shade of orange (a definite no-no!).
3. Rush to the supermarket and grab a variety of shampoos claiming to give you super-strong hair (photoshopped?) and/or decrease hair-fall (like that ever works!); if everything fails, you can find solace in cursing the likes of Katrina Kaif and Shahid Afridi for misleading you.
4. Get a wig; there is no better time than the present to reinvent yourself with a new look.
5. Sign up for the latest herbal fads and a promise to turn back your biological clock; it’s either ‘go organic’ or ‘go bald’.
6. Enter the highly overdecorated foyer of the hair transplant clinic and ask for the best plugs/grafts money can buy; you’ve always wished the hair on your head was as thick and lustrous as that on other parts of your body (or as Harry Potter would call ‘em, ‘parts-that-shall-not-be-named’) – dreams do come true.

It’s no wonder hair-care is a multi-billion dollar industry that fools people into thinking they can have model-gorgeous hair within the confines of their homes, a misconception most of us fall for. Thousands of cosmetics companies and research facilities spend an exorbitant amount of money trying to create the ultimate serum, the magic element that will eventually cure all hair-related ills. Like in any flourishing industry, a bunch of hair-care companies run cons and play on people’s psychological state to rob them off of every penny. Unfortunately, I have met and heard stories of many people going totally bald or platinum because of such products. Even after knowing and hearing about such horrific accidents, we find ourselves lunging towards every new product that tugs at the strings of our heart. “I can feel it in my bones; this one will work. After all, it’s being endorsed by Little Miss Perfect“. Everyone knows deep down inside that (most) celebrities will do anything to earn some extra on the side (surprisingly, there are still a handful of celebrities with their integrity intact).

Ever wondered why we fall for these scams the way we do, time and time again? Some people call it a mid-life crisis (with an average lifespan of 65 years, it seems just about right), others call it going over the hill, but try as you might, you are not getting any younger; the sooner you realize this, the better. We lunge at every (affordable) opportunity to get back our lost years, turn back time, be Benjamin Button; then again, he did die eventually. Some of us spend so much time in these self-obsessions that we neglect our loved ones, often hurting their feelings in the process. Time keeps fleeting by, yet we keep searching for that ultimate high, letting little moments of happiness go right in front of our eyes (I like the way this sentence rhymes).

I am what you might call an opti-realist; I hope for the best, knowing what realities I have to face. We should all keep in mind that we are not here forever; the clock’s a-tickin’ and we should make every moment worthwhile, no matter how insignificant it may seem. Forget about the hair fall and the anti-aging creams, embrace your wrinkles, flaunt your baldness, and be happy with what you have; one look around and you’ll spot thousands who don’t have even a tenth of what you have.

Be thankful. Don’t just exist; LIVE!

 

Baby Steps 101 – Learning to be a first-time parent

What goes on in the labor room, stays in the labor room! Some progressive hospitals let the dad into the labor room to enjoy (seriously?!) the whole 360-degree birthing experience, but more often than not, the dad and the couple’s close relatives sit in the waiting area, praying for the health of the mother and the baby. The father-to-be can clearly be distinguished from the lot as the one pacing the entire length of the dimly-lit corridor, biting his nails (or indulging in some alternate idiosyncrasy), waiting for the nurse to come out with some good news; a scene straight out of a silent movie. It could be hours, even days (God forbid), till you hear from the hospital staff, and when you’ve given up all hope, a nurse sporting blood-splattered scrubs (the source is better left unnamed) bursts out of the labor room screaming, “It’s a girl! It’s a girl!” (or a boy). What follows is nothing short of a miracle; the silent ambiance is ruptured with shrieks of joy and cries of “Mubarak Ho, Mubarak Ho!” (meaning Congratulations in Urdu). From my personal experience and fairly recent induction into daddy-ville, a possible sequence of events that follow include:

1. shedding a tear (or two) of relief, or even a full-blown outburst (believe me; no one will judge you)
2. seeing the baby for the first time
3. shedding a tear (or two) of joy – again; no judging
4. checking on the mother’s health
5. sharing sweets with everyone
6. seeing the baby again
7. your mother and your mother-in-law arguing over who she resembles more
8. saying the Azaan (Muslim call for prayers) in the infant’s ear
9. seeing the baby some more (you just can’t seem to get enough of her)
10. having some more sweets (Pakistanis will be Pakistanis)
11. shortlisting baby names (if you haven’t already decided on one yet)
12. meeting your wife together with the baby and crying some more
13. giving the baby something sweet to taste

And then the baby comes home, bringing with it, two invisible (not imaginary) companions named “Sleepless Nights” and “Ceaseless Crying”. You have no choice but to welcome them into your humble abode; no compromises. Waking up at hours unheard of somehow becomes routine. People at work mock/pity you as you walk into your office with bleary red eyes. You seem to be running to the doctor every time the baby sneezes. You used to think your wife was high-maintenance; well guess again! The formula milk and the diapers, the cleaning wipes and the bouncers, the bottles and the sterilizers, the rattles and the swings, and loads of other things-that-shall-not-be-named, don’t come cheap; and don’t even get me started on the filthy expensive vaccinations. But wait; there’s another intruder that creeps into your life and needs no invitation; “Postpartum Depression”. Your wife’s mood swings, an essential part of her hormonal imbalances, may drive you to the edge and back; tears of joy might turn into a crying frenzy on how she would be a terrible mother. In her defense, after what she’s gone through, she deserves a breakdown or two (hmmm… make that a hundred). As a loving husband, you must hold her hand through all the highs and lows, and make sure she knows that you are there to support her no matter what; a freezer full of her favorite ice cream seems to help (a lot!).

One of my daughter's favorite toys - may it rest in peace (or should I say 'pieces'?)

The last paragraph should pretty-much sum up your life for the first three months after the baby’s birth. But as soon as the baby crosses over into her fourth month, most lucky parents (myself included) see a visible change in their lifestyles. The baby becomes more responsive, starts cooing, even ga-ga-ing at times, might even recognize you, bestow you with a smile or two, and seems to settle down into a sleeping pattern. Sleeping for four (maybe even six) hours isn’t just a dream anymore. Life somehow seems much more settled. There are a few outbursts, a tummy-ache here, a little gas there, but all-in-all, you feel blessed after having gone through what you have in the early days.

Five-month olds and coloring books do not mix - take it from experience

My daughter is a little over five months old now and she keeps getting more adorable every second. I can hardly restrain myself from giving her soft cheeks a loving bite. Besides being my favorite dessert, there’s a lot more she has to offer, be it a sincere smile, or a gentle caress. But more than anything, she has drastically changed my perceptions on learning; it is not a one-way street as perceived by most new parents. We spend all our lives trying to mold our children into ideals, but we somehow miss so many things our children can teach us, even as infants. Here are twelve things I learned from my five-month old daughter.

1. Persistence is the key to getting what you want, when you want; crying always works.
2. Curiosity might have killed the cat but it won’t kill you, as long as your parents are watching.
3. Change is healthy, even if it’s just a loaded diaper.
4. A sincere smile can change any situation from bad to good.
5. Don’t be afraid to try out new things even if they are not edible.
6. Appreciate the little things in life, even if they’re as mundane as the ceiling fan.
7. Don’t care what people might think about you; just let it rip.
8. Time shouldn’t limit your abilities to do wonderful things.
9. If at first you don’t succeed, keep trying; you’ll eventually learn to sit on your own.
10. Hold onto the people you love as if it’s the last time you’re holding them.
11. Raise your voice; you won’t get any milk if you aren’t heard.
12. Be content with what you have; drinking milk everyday is enough to keep you alive.

Raising a child can be nerve-wracking and fun, all at the same time. But more than anything, its an amazing voyage of self-discovery. It has its ups and downs (mostly ups), but most importantly, it allows you to appreciate the gift of life. You may have other children later on, but the experiences of raising your first born will last you a lifetime.

NOTE: Being a father, I’m writing this article from a dad’s perspective and from my own personal experience. Even though it has a lot of religious and cultural influences, you may be able to relate to most of my experiences.

This article was published at the Express Tribune Pakistan Blog (International Herald Tribune) as well as in the October – November 2011 issue of Expert Parenting and Pregnancy, Pakistan.

 

Arabian Nights – Dreams on Paper

Islamic architecture has always been a great source of inspiration for me, but it has always been difficult for me to truly capture the essence of these magnificently hypnotic architectural marvels. A cornerstone of this architecture is the Girih (Persian for ‘knots’), which are essentially tiling patterns prominently displayed on the walls, pillars, as well as on the convex of the domes. These mesmerizing tessellations are formed with a few basic tile patterns repeated over and over again. You can find examples of these all across the globe including the Middle East, India, Pakistan, Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, Azerbaijan, Spain and Turkey.

I seem to have a special bond with Girih and I cannot stop myself from taking a photograph wherever I spot this pattern. Below, are some photos that I have taken while possessed with the Girih Djinn.

Wall Painiting – Shahjahani Masjid, Pakistan

Building Mural – Abra Station Dubai, UAE

Traditional Lamps – Madinat Jumeirah, UAE

Wall Painting – Wafi Mall, UAE

Chandelier – Wafi Mall, UAE

Golden Door – Masjid-al-Haraam, Saudi Arabia

Window Grill – Masjid-al-Haraam, Saudi Arabia

Sliding Skylights – Masjid-e-Nabawi, Saudi Arabia

Stained Glass – Masjid-e-Nabawi, Saudi Arabia

Ceiling – Masjid-e-Qiblatain, Saudi Arabia

Entrance Arch – Masjid-e-Khandaq, Saudi Arabia

The Door – Masjid-e-Khandaq, Saudi Arabia

Qura’an Rack – Masjid-e-Khandaq, Saudi Arabia

Stained Glass Window – Masjid-e-Khandaq, Saudi Arabia

Girih Reflections – Masjid-e-Khandaq, Saudi Arabia

Sehan Floor – Masjid-e-Khandaq, Saudi Arabia

Wooden Windows – Masjid-al-Haraam, Saudi Arabia

Arches – Ibn Batutta Mall, UAE

Gold Souk – Dubai Mall, UAE

Ceiling – Emirates Palace, UAE

Prayer Area – Emirates Palace, UAE

Mehraab – Emirates Palace, UAE

Wall Painiting – Shahjahani Masjid, Pakistan

Girih Pattern on Pillars – Shahjahani Masjid, Pakistan

Serene Supplication – Handcut on card-stock

Serene Suplication – side view

Serene Supplication – the praying man

Arabesque – Handcut on card-stock

Arabesque – close-up

Arabian Nights – Handcut on card-stock

Arabian Nights – close-up

I am no painter and I know it; what I do get, however, is paper, and how one can create spectacular designs using it. So to realize this dream of mine, I resorted to Scherenschnitte, the German art of paper-cutting to make some Girih patterns. These patterns have painstakingly been 100% hand-cut (if you look closely, you might be able to spot the flaws), but it was all worthwhile. Hope you enjoy feasting your eyes on them as I enjoyed cutting them.

Serene Supplication – Handcut on card-stock

Serene Suplication – side view

Serene Supplication – the praying man

Arabesque – Handcut on card-stock

Arabesque – close-up

Arabian Nights – Handcut on card-stock

Arabian Nights – close-up

 

Nursing a Broken Heart

I’m nursing a broken heart
Feels like I’m falling apart
Why did life have to take this turn
We were off to a wonderful start

I know what I did was wrong
And it broke up a bond so strong
I’m sorry, so sorry, I mean it
In my arms, is where you belong

Never have I been unfaithful
O! God, I’ve always been grateful
For the heartache and pain, my love
I’ll forever and ever be thankful

Love’s lost, no need for goodbyes
Just open wounds and sighs
Not a glimmer of love or hope
When I look into your eyes

As you step out of my door
It’s you my heart screams for
My existence, a million pieces
Shattered all across the floor

This world just won’t let me be
As I pick up the pieces of me
In every corner of my mind
What could’ve been, is what I see

- Yousuf Bawany

Note: I’m a happily married guy and this poem doesn’t reflect on my personal life whatsoever. There was this idea that I just had to put on paper and (fortunately) I am in a melancholy mood today, ergo the poem.

 

On Top Of The World

We are all used to seeing beautiful mountains, lush green with foliage or covered with snow. Rarely do we stop to appreciate the rugged rocky formations on a barren mountain range. Here are a few images from a hiking trip with some friends in the Middle East region that capture the raw beauty of these unchartered rocks, and for the record, I did manage to mount the highest peak. You cannot even begin to imagine how peaceful/lonely it feels when you’re at the top, with nothing but desert sand below as far as your eyes can see.

A few of these photos were taken en route to the mountain range and I think they capture the essence of the whole trip, ergo their inclusion in this blog.

Contrast

Under the greenwood tree

Grassroots

Mountain range 01

Pinkstone

Mountain range 02

On my way down

Fossilized